“If I would have known you were going to be gay, I would have aborted you.” This is what a mother told her son after she learned that he was gay.
NPR did a story on gay immigrants shedding light on their story of living in the United States. In this particular segment the son decided to live with his mom in New York. Two weeks later his cousin called the son’s mom and told her that her son was gay, with which she gave him the evil gift of those hate-filled words, followed by disowning and a swift kick out of her house.
To be honest, I was filled with a hell-bent anger towards the mom mixed with a deep, tearful sorrow for her son. There are few times in life where I would consider going postal on someone, this would have been one of them. If I would have overheard this personally, say, while sitting at a coffee shop or bar, I can’t imagine what I would have done. I don’t think it would have been pretty. Who says that to their own child? Who has such a deep fear and hatred lurking inside of themselves that they would (a) think that and, (b) actually utter those words?
Two things I would like. One, the mom’s address in NY. I would tell you what I want to do once I get her address, but I won’t so they can’t subpoena you as a witness for my trial. And two, her son’s address. I would begin a massive campaign to love on him and celebrate his life. But since it is unlikely that I will never get either address, I will allow this story to seep into my spirit, form it and reshape it. I will give it voice. I will listen and hear the pain of both the mother and her son. I will not rush through it or ignore it, but rather embrace it, allowing it to plant its seeds.
“If I would have known you were going to be gay, I would have aborted you.”
I feel a terrible loss of words, except to say this. Caleb, Ashlyn or Scout (my kids), I will NEVER utter these words to you. Never. If you are gay or lesbian, I will love you, embrace you, and walk with you. I will not judge you or be disappointed with you. You make me proud, regardless, and my heart beats for you. I accept you for who you are and will try to help you discover the gift that only you can bring to the world. I will seek to empower you to accept and express who you are, without shame or fear. I do, and will always, love you.