A Mending Shift

Last Tuesday afternoon I was driving home from work. While slowing for traffic, I offered up this simply prayer, “God, show me your love in a tangible way. Please, I need to know it.”

Now what I was really praying was for God to convey his love through a mystical experience where I got the warm fuzzies in my spirit and I felt God’s love in an inner, emotional way. A personal experience between just God and me. That was what I was really praying for.

But God had more up his sleeve than just a mystical, personal experience…A LOT more!

The next day I read this blog post by Chad. It spoke to my spirit and I sat down to write a personal letter to the Gay and Lesbian community, declaring that I love and stand with them. I published it.

And God’s knowing smirk grew.

To be honest, I had forgotten about my little prayer (shallow, I know) but God hadn’t. Because no sooner than my letter was put out into the blogosphere that the tears, thank yous and story after story came flooding into my inbox. “I had given up on Jesus until I read your letter.” “I wept as I read this letter to my partner.” “Thank you for your courage, you have NO IDEA how much this means to me to hear a Christian say this.” One by one their words came.

And I just sat there, in awe, humbled, wondering what God was doing. ‘Cause here is the thing, I am just a simple person, who has a wife and three kids, who rents a 1,400 square foot house, makes $22 an hour while sitting in a cubical and has a tremendous propensity to cause both love and pain in those closest to me. How could these simple, heart-felt words from me be the stimulus for such an outpouring? How could they be causing person after person to weep openly while reading them?

And God said, I am showing you my love.

I am showing you the power of my love. I am showing others my love through your stuttering words. I am showing the depth of my love to all that need to hear it. And yes, Jeromy, I am even showing you my love in a deeply personal way through the other. Because my love is not just about mystical warm fuzzies, but is best known as it is expressed to others.

And God was showing me both the deep pain and deep love that is present within the homosexual community. I have been blessed and unconditionally accepted within their fold. Their love is a beautiful love that seemed to be birthed through their cast-aside experience and suffering. As if God was saying, I am showing you my love through them. I am using them in a real and tangible way to express who I am. They are my kids, whom I deeply love, as are you.

And God’s smirk grew into an unquenchable smile.

While all of us recipients just watched in awe and joy at what God was doing  in, through and around us.

And love begot love.

Thanks Papa, for hearing and answering shallow, half-felt prayers while stuck in traffic. Thanks Papa for loving us enough to show it. Thanks Papa for the new friendships you are creating. Thanks Papa for reshaping and healing hearts.

And thanks Papa, for showing US your love.

Your kid, who just seems to be along for the ride sometimes,
Jeromy

Tags: God, Homosexuality, Letter, love, Prayer

This entry was posted by Jeromy Johnson on Monday, May 16th, 2011 at 8:21 am and is filed under Christianity, fellowship, forgiveness, friendship, God, grace, Homosexuality, Jesus, love, transformation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.